Chapter 5 - Page 33

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Author's Comments:

Reply K.K., 06 Jan 2008

Sol said "Shutendoji is grabbing Lone's face under the hood and burning it."

I really do not know how big Shutendoji's hand is supposed to be... T_T Originally, he was supposed to be 15 feet tall, but that would mean he can't grab his face under the hood and so I have noooo idea

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Reply Sol, 06 Jan 2008

Yeahhhh... I meant to say that I changed my mind about Shutendoji's height. It just isn't practical to do what I want to with his fights.

Reply K.K., 06 Jan 2008

Yay. Shall we say 7-8 feet tall then? Like "THE GREAT KHALI" from the WWE

Reply Sol, 07 Jan 2008

Closer to 8, if not a bit over. Also, cliff hanger again. Muahahaha!

User's Comments:

Reply Reputator, 25 Jan 2008

A couple of possibilities. There are three techniques used so far that AFAIK, do not rely so much on gathered souls. Whirling Shield, Flame Spiral, and 100 Stabs techniques. However, the limits of the enemy have not yet been determined. One thing I'm surprised about is Lone is fighting Shutendoji so early in the series. This is reminiscent of some series where you see an early encounter with the main enemy to move things along quickly (and keep viewers interested early on). You see this in Naruto, for instance. What is usually established isn't that the enemy is weak and there is a greater enemy pulling the strings from behind, but that the protagonist has a long way to go. One thing that will be interesting to see is whether the madness he's beginning to experience will help or hinder his progress, and if it hinders it, what will bring him out of it. Could it be his meeting of this Stephanie person? Too much to speculate.

On the quality of the comic, probably my main criticism has to do with the layout. One of the things that the very first (although crude) pages did well was space the action out, separate it and organize it in boxes so you saw the enemy's arm lift to make a slash attack, you saw a character dodge... It was all very clearly laid out. I understand the need in some sequences, when it's too fast for the enemy to see, or the protagonist to see, to basically omit the mid-action, but in this particular page, his hand is suddenly on his face, and it's not entirely clear what's happening.

Once again, and I've mentioned this to Sol, the story remains one of the best aspects of this comic, and it seems much of it was well developed and thought through before a single page was made. The impression therein is that there is a lot happening in the background of the story, a lot of cards hidden from the viewer that isn't known yet, and the suspense is greatly aided in that regard. In my humble opinion, if the layout and pacing of the action is perhaps further made clearer, that will only help the suspense as well.

Keep it up guys.

Reply Sol, 25 Jan 2008

It took me a bit to figure out who you were, but then it dawned on me, haha. Thanks for the long comment, I appreciate it.

I'm not entirely sure what AFAIK stands for right now... also, Flame Spiral was a technique that Ultimus used, not Lone.

Lone's "named" techniques so far include Return to Sender, Whirling Shield, 100 Stabs Technique and Spirit Slash. Oh, and Soul Blade of course.

The reason why Lone is grasping his face here is because it was just burned by Shutendoji. (Hence the steam and the screaming)

Yeah, I really wanted to show off just how powerful Shutendoji really is in this Chapter, as well as show how far Lone is falling down the path of insanity. It also shows Shutendoji's interest in Lone, in wanting him as an ally.

You are absolutely right about your deduction that I had it planned out before a single page was made. I started writing TLS back in 2002, and we started making it into a comic in late 2006. I pretty much have the entire story developed in my head, including all of the middle parts. I just have to finish the fleshing out part when I write a Chapter.

Oh, and for those wondering who Reputator is... well, let's just say you may be hearing his voice quite often soon.

Reply Reputator, 25 Jan 2008

Thanks for the introduction. Yeah AFAIK = as far as I know. I was kinda wondering about the Flame Spiral technique because immediately after it, Lone says he "got him", and later said he was amazed Ultimus survived. At the same time though it was Ultimus who was shown in the pane, and was making a move, so maybe I'm just slow.

Yeah I had actually figured out that was what was going on, that is, Lone's face was burned, by the comment the artist made. Perhaps another example of my slowness. :p

I'm actually fairly experienced as a writer. I'm a fan of sci-fi and anime, and actually have a novel in the works. Another thing I didn't mention before was the emotion you've created, specifically in the dialog. As someone who's done a fair bit of reading and some acting, that's actually something not a lot of people are able to get right. That's obviously a big part of the character of Lone, but also even a side character like Sypher is well realized, emotionally. I didn't actually read the comment made a while back on the writer's strike, but my own opinion on the subject is that everything starts at the writing. If you're able to characterize the emotions the characters are feeling, that helps every process going down the chain, to the art, to the acting, and at the end destination, the viewers. They all are better able to grasp the characters, and it's that ability to relate to them that creates that attachment, not only emotionally, but popularity-wise, and you gain a following.

I'm hoping to be able to contribute in other ways to the series if at all possible, even if it just means sending some fanart. :p The potential leading up to the climax, or the turning point in the series when Lone descovers who he is, and everything beyond that which everyone is looking forward to keeps building and building up, and it's got me very interested myself. I hope to be a great help in enabling this series to actualize that potential in the future, alongside the talent here that has already invested so much into it. But obviously my knowledge is limited, so I'm still familiarizing myself with the world and everything that's happened so far.

Yikes, this comment turned out a bit too long!

Reply K.K., 25 Jan 2008

The early pages had layout and action done easily because it was hand drawn. Doing it all on computer + having to color it means that to actually keep up the hectic 3 a week schedule, there's a lot of shortcuts. If you would rather have one page a week, like it used to be, then yeah, maybe you'll be able to get your pacing back to your so called "good" levels - I personally prefer going faster though, because getting one comic a week means that unless you are reading them as an archive, it's not very much fun.

Also, some of Sol's storyboards are brutal to draw - you can really tell he intended this to be a book sometimes. Or a movie. There's a lot of interlocking parts that take hours to draw sometimes

And, yes, that comment was really long.

Reply Reputator, 25 Jan 2008

My apologies, please take nothing I said personally. I'm merely looking at it from the standpoint of a viewer, and naturally I don't know how the innerworkings go about. So dismiss the ignorant comments I make.

Reply Sol, 25 Jan 2008

I'll admit I used a lot of early writings to assist with writing Part 1, which might have been a mistake. (As Part 1 was originally written in Novel format), but Part 2 won't be that way, so hopefully my storyboards will be a bit easier on you, K.K.

Reply amjam, 25 Jan 2008

I really enjoyed reading your input, Reputator, and I agree with a lot of your points. Sorry I can't contribute much to this discussion, but I'm trying to comment and rate no matter how little I have to say. ^^

Reply K.K., 26 Jan 2008

Part 2 does seem a bit easier to decipher, so that probably isn't a worry. Now it depends on how many shortcuts I decide to take, since I am strapped for time recently... Sort of doing a double-Major kind of thing at school, so I have constant deadlines.

And don't worry about the comments - I was just pointing out why it seems a bit less flowy. At the same time, I got rid of the huge dividing lines, so it can be a bit harder to follow if I use the same background all the time (or no background at all). I'll take the comment under consideration, but I can't promise that it'll improve the readability much...

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